Insight: After the Game: High Fives and Meaningful Moments

By Kim Eng, Director of Athletics 

Let me set the stage…

Your athlete has been excited all week long for “the big game”. Heck, let’s be honest…so have you! The day arrives, the sun is out, parents are donning their best Eagle-wear, and the game begins. Fast forward 90 minutes. The Eagles lose a close one, your athlete is devastated, and your mind is going a million miles an hour trying to figure out how to navigate the long car ride home. How can you help your child process this emotional roller coaster of excitement, frustration, pride, and everything in between? How can you play a supportive role without veering into the “unsolicited advice” territory that spirals into a lecture…or worse…the dreaded silent treatment?

Being a sports parent is hard. I’m not talking about the many hours spent driving to and from practices and games or the money spent on snacks and team sweatshirts. I’m talking about the highs and lows, the winning and losing, and the joys and disappointments that inevitably come with playing sports. Youth sports parenting is a journey, and although there’s no secret recipe for doing it perfectly, here are some empathetic dialogue strategies that might help.

  1. After a Tough Loss: “It’s frustrating, I get it. But you put in a lot of effort out there, and that’s something you can build on. These kinds of games make you stronger.”
  2. When Your Child Didn’t Play Much: “I get that you wanted more playing time, and it’s frustrating. But you’re part of the team, and being a good teammate matters just as much when you’re not on the field.”
  3. When Your Child is Upset or Crying: “I know it’s tough to handle when things don’t go your way, but feeling bad about it means you care. Just don’t let it keep you down for too long.”
  4. Praising Their Effort (Not the Outcome): “You worked hard today. Not everything went perfectly, but that’s part of the process. Keep putting in that effort, and you’ll keep improving.”
  5. Highlighting Teamwork: “You played your part today and helped the team. Even when things aren’t going well, knowing how to work together is huge.”

And frankly, sometimes your kiddo just needs space. That is perfectly okay too. Take them out for some ice cream and tell them how much you “love to watch them play”.